Clean Jokes for Bored FX traders
One girl, just after her childhood, started doing a part-time job, in a brush factory. In a few months time, she found hair appearing in her secret area, and she was very upset. Day by day, the hair started growing, and she thought this was an effect of the brushes, and that her secret area was converting into a brush. So she decided to quit the job.
She went to meet her boss, who was a middle-aged gentleman, and told him that she was leaving the company. So the the boss asked her why she wanted to leave.
She said, "Look what the brushes are doing to me. A brush has started appearing right here" and showed him her secret area.
The boss, trying to educate her in this subject said, "Look child; this is quite a natural phenomena. It has nothing to do with the brushes. this happens to every one at your age. Look what we got" and showed her his secret area. The girl became horrified, and said "Oh my god! You have got the handle also!", and left the place immediately.
Do you have GUTS or BALLS
We've all heard about people having 'guts' or 'balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, and being met by the wife, with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on her buttocks and having the balls to say: "You're next."
Freephone 0800 Aircon Experts
Taking off - Fingers crossed
Health Cuts already taking effect
ADULTS ONLY - Pussy with Brazilian, Tattoo and piercing
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http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7.../catphoto4.jpg
Welfare office South Auckland
A woman walks into the Mangere Social Welfare Office, trailed by 15 kids.
"WOW," the social worker exclaims, "are they all yours?"
"Yes they are all mine," the flustered Mother sighs, having heard that
question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Rangi."
All the children rush to find seats.
Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up.
I'll need all your children's names."
"This one's my oldest; he is Rangi."
"OK, and who's next?"
"Well, this one, he is Rangi, also."
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues.
One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Rangi. Then
she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Rangi!
"All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are
they ALL named Rangi?"
Their Mother replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it's time
to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Rangi!'
An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Rangi!' an' they all
come running.
An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just
yell Rangi' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever
had, namin' them all Rangi."
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her
forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"
"Then I call them by their last names."
perfect woman? - not quite
Why isn't the one on the left carrying the half dozen instead of holding his hand?
The guy on the right also has to carry the umbrella AND a beer...Jeeez
:D:D
The perfect present for the man who has everything
Scenes from New Zealand 1. Lake Waka Tipup
......and the Husband of the Year award goes to.......
..............room for more under the bonnet...........