Originally Posted by
justakiwi
Sorry, but your post has forced me out of the lurk only promise I made to myself, but I can’t let this one go.
You are so wrong. The vast majority of elderly people living in retirement homes/rest homes, were not forced to live their. Many of them made the decision for themselves because they were no longer able to remain in their own home and/or they did not want to live with family, even if their family was willing to have them. Others, realised that they could no longer manage at home, that their adult children were not in a position to care for them, so a rest home situation was the best option for them. Very few residents are in these places against their will.
Not everyone is in the position to take on the care of an elderly parent. It may not be a viable financial option for them, they may not have sufficient room in their home for an extra person, especially if they are renting. They may have health issues of their own. There are all manner of reasons why it may not be an option. They may also have personality conflicts with their parents, which means, no matter how much they love each other, neither party wants to live with the other. Nobody should be made to feel guilty about this.
I work in a rest home and I see loving adult children/families visiting their parents often. I see grandchildren and great grandchildren coming to visit. Some more often than others, but this is due to individual situations/commitments - not because they don’t care. You are making judgments on people you do not know and whose situations you know nothing about.
Rest homes are not “institutions.” They are “home” for the residents who live in them. When you hear someone who has been to hospital for some reason, come back to the rest home and say “I am so happy to be home!” you know they mean it. Even more so, when someone who is dying, thanks you (as a caregiver) for making it possible for him/her to die “at home” rather than have to go to hospital or hospice.
To reference “Game of Thrones” - “you know nothing Jon Snow.”