definitely post of the day !
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Vote For Pedro
so yeh this was my wallpaper on my work computer a while back
I just had to post it
no offense.
http://www.biggie.co.nz/interaction/...s/bluewink.gif
:D I just couldn't help myself ;)
sharetrader was offline for a few minutes this was their placemaker page
Sorry, the board is unavailable at the moment while we are testing some functionality.
Should only be about five minutes, pleae feel free to have a coffee, ciggie, JD on the rocks, line of coke or any other vice you so desire for the next couple of minutes
Nude blonde visits petrol station creating public disturbance
http://www.funreports.com/img/1592.jpegA mysterious blonde paid a visit to a petrol station shop in the small eastern German town http://www.funreports.com/img/1591.jpeg
of Doemitz on Sunday -wearing nothing but a pair of golden stilettos and a thin gold bracelet.
The tall, slender woman strolled into the shop in the town of Doemitz on the warm afternoon and bought cigarettes, petrol station employee Ines Swoboda told Reuters on Monday.
"I wasn't surprised because she's come in naked before -- she's a very nice woman," Swoboda said, adding none of the other customers were bothered. The woman could have faced charges of creating a public disturbance if anyone had complained.
A quick-witted customer did, however, snap pictures of the woman believed to be about 30 years old as she walked back to a waiting Ferrari and climbed into the passenger seat. Several of those photos appeared in the German media on Monday.
nice tatts
so yeh my wallpaper
Did you mean tatts :)
Belated Happy Christmas
http://english.pravda.ru/photo/report/playboy-1323
http://www.kunstler.com/eyesore_200712c.jpg
What were they thinking about when they passed this through planning...........
http://www.kunstler.com/eyesore_200712.html
Looking at it they were high on mushrooms at the time
yes - very avante garde - Prague architecture is typically very beautiful.
I find the concept of an airport claiming itself to be carbon neutral pretty funny
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/...ectid=10488529
this is a family forum Arco please dont push the bounds of decency. :o
;)
Interesting legal questions raised in that article about Muslims here in NZ and who their allegiance belongs to if they become residents.
Peat
I particularly 'enjoyed' the audacity of this sentance........
Fouzya Salim told the judge that she had compromised to New Zealand sensibilities by exposing part of her nakedness since her arrival here. She had removed the mosquito netting that covered the eye-slit in her burqa! New Zealand ought to be thankful for small mercies!
Sales of mosquito netting in NZ have probably fallen to an all time low.
:)
I tend to agree that in a court of law one should literally face up to the court and/or ones accusers. do what you like at home but in certain situations you must accept that this is not a Muslim nation and while there is 'freedom of religion' there may be some small compromises should you choose to live here.
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "Here, Iron this."
http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/8...erviel1sy1.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by NZ Herald
These ads for an American Mortgage company are really funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC8s6qFrW8Y
Heather Mills an 'insatiable' sex maniac
....an interesting read :rolleyes:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4399421a1860.html
"Heather has a very unusual erogenous zone - her stump. I used to massage one particular area and it gave her an orgasm."
Before I read this article I didn't think I had anything in common with her
After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the POMS, in the weeks that followed, Australian scientists dug to a depth of 20 meters, and shortly after, headlines in the Aussie newspapers read: "Australian archaeologists have found traces of 150 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Brits.
One week later, Maori TV reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 meters in his backyard in Te Kuiti, Hone Waiata, a King Country Kaumatua, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Hone has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Maori had already gone wireless.
Some say the Global Finance Crisis (GFC) began in East Africa when a rogue monkey trader defaulted on a subprime banana futures derivative deal...
http://www.nbr.co.nz/home/column_art...me=NBR+Comment
Thanks Peat - very enlightening - and mostly true I suspect.....
.........In Auckland, the main knock-on effect has been a marked increase in traffic congestion. A reason-for-travel survey of motorists reveals that 57.5% are driving around the city trying to get their money back.
Of them, 22% are looking for their finance company's new location and 35.5% are searching for the new apartment they thought they were renting out in the CBD.
The balance of drivers surveyed are engaged in the city's other main economic activities - delivering pizza or running pre-wrinkled clothes out to the airport for newly-arrived ironing franchisees...........
Woman sat on boyfriend's toilet for two years
Thursday, 13 March, 2008
A US woman’s skin had to be surgically removed, after she spent two years on a toilet
http://news.sbs.com.au/shared/medial...1205364776.jpg
US authorities are considering charging a man whose girlfriend sat on his toilet for two years, and ended up stuck there when her skin eventually grew around the plastic seat.
Sheriff Bryan Whipple in Ness City, Texas, says she initially refused emergency medical services, but was finally convinced by police, medical officers and her boyfriend to go to hospital.
He says they had to break the seat off the toilet, and doctors at the hospital removed it from her skin.
Sheriff Whipple says the boyfriend told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.
Her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow'.
The boyfriend eventually called police on February 27 and the county attorney will decide whether any charges should be filed against him.
http://news.sbs.com.au/worldnewsaust...o_years_542679
guess she felt a little bogged down in the relationship
(sorry, but it had to be said)
.................it was just her way of becoming a member
of the effluent society
I heard she looked a bit flushed when she arrived at hospital....
.........apparantly some of the time she thought
she was sitting on a stool
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.
One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley,
and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.
After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!
The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story?
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!
What do you call a dog with one leg??
Heather
;)
The Heather Mills joke thread -
http://board.dogbomb.co.uk/showthread.php?t=45245
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has
been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have
no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"
"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she
will need all the support she can get its not like its easy to walk out
on a relationship like this"
It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the
marriage, Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world amassing
a colossal wealth due to his participation with The Beatles and
subsequent musical collaborations, if an agreement hasn't been signed it
is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on
Rumours abound over the split have suggested that infidelity may have
been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get
her leg over".
Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the
cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said "he would get
home at night and find her legless"
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present
that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg
for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a
plane but then he gave her a Ladyshave for the other leg.
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present
that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he gave her a new prosthetic leg
for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a
plane but then he gave her a Ladyshave for the other leg.
__________________
im still laughing
I heard the worst part is, he makes the chairs watch
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main...npicnic128.xml
Thanks Craig....and in a similar vein............
A Cajun walks into a bar with
A pet alligator by his side.
He puts the alligator up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my manhood inside.
Then the gator will close his
Mouth for one minute.
"Then he'll open his mouth
And I'll remove my unit unscathed.
In return for witnessing this
Spectacle,
Each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar,
Dropped his trousers,
And placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator's open mouth.
The gator closed his mouth
As the crowd gasped.
After a minute,
The man grabbed a beer
bottle and smacked the
Alligator hard on th e top of
its head.
The gator opened his mouth
And the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered,
And the first of his free
Drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A Blonde woman timidly
Spoke up..........
"I'll try it - Just don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!"
--
LOS ANGELES: A woman is threatening to sue after she
was forced to remove her nipple rings with pliers in order to
board a plane in Texas. Mandi Hamlin, 37, said she was
put behind a curtain to remove two rings. Having done so,
she was allowed to fly, even though she still wore a belly
button ring.
The whole sorry saga.............
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/27/travel/main3976376.shtml?source=RSSattr=HOME_3976376
Probably seemed a good idea at the time.......................
http://www.sharetrader.co.nz/picture...7&pictureid=14
Smart traders, but it would have been even smarter to select a stock which could prove their point.
heh thats awesome!
The SP500 has just completed an extremely rare "black swan" formation. This is a typically bearish pattern and is usually followed by the "Peking seasoning" pattern accompanied with choppy motions. (borrowed from ASF)
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicke n to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure – right from Day One! – that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before! adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this c hicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few mom ents, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Apparently Tony Veitch will be hosting a new show on TVNZ : Wheelchair of Fortune
The Tony Veitch Sporting Breakfast 6:00am - 9:00am Weekdays Tony Veitch kicks off the working day with his highly entertaining breakfast show between 6.00am-9.00am
Henry, a rare NZ tuatara, a kind of lizard like reptile of prehistoric origin, is now going to be a father for the first time, expecting up to 11 young tuataras when he mated with Mildred, his 80-year-old mate. Curators at the museum where they live say that the 111-year old reptile "wasn't interested in sex until a cancerous tumour was removed from his bottom."......thats a bummer!
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/2008080...t-ad60dae.html
http://aquatic-photography.com/galle...90-tuatura.jpg
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid,
China for military aid,
British for Warplanes,
Italy for machines,
Germany for technology,
French for submarines,
Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs
Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this
And claim exploitation by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind.
You wage a war to save the world and grab their cows.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.
SINGAPORE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
Believe you have a brilliant government
Need to hire foreign talents to manage your cows
You lost all your cows.
SRI LANKAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You make one the President and the other the Leader of the Opposition!
Be fun coming back down if you had a few drinks with your dinner.
Spotted this when we were in Langkowi
.....................
Spotted somewhere in the bowels of York.
In French this is pronounced Gobbo.....spotted on our travels in Picardy.
e by gum....
..........
Some people just have no class.......... Just looks at this guys tie: it's so..so.. yesterday!
'''''''''''''''
http://bp1.blogger.com/_LNSrzQb3KZg/...UOI/s400/Inbox
Can think of at least two reasons why he married her.
wow wow .................. pink with blue stripes what was he thinking
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Glad to see you guys are paying attention......there are always a number of points you should observe when considering a tie.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Check out the message ........check out the contents.......check out the number plate.
must ahve been a bit of a theme goin on at the wedding
http://img392.imageshack.us/img392/1...ngdresskg5.jpg
>>>>>>>>>>>>
MMMM.............They look like a very nice couple
You BLIND OR STUPID Peat??? his tie is a "DIFFERENT" colour.
Being caught with your shorts down is a traders nightmare..............
.
The Titanic.
Photographed this bus on our travels in Sri Lanka......
......................decided not to take a ride on this Intercity Superservice for 50/-. (The drivers are absolute maniacs).
As a matter of interest 50/- equates to about 70c (NZ) and the ride takes a hair raising 3 hrs approx.
.
.
..........caught in the act..................and charged accordingly.
Just musing about the ASX following the Dow so religiously.
There are obviously more sheep in Australia than in NZ. The Aussie jokes have always been about what Kiwis do to sheep. Perhaps the last laugh should be what Aussies let sheep do to them
.
Men and Women on planet earth die from various places throughout the world at a particular moment in time and go to God's abode to be judged.
The God welcomes this new batch and tries his experimental new judgement trick and says," I want all you humans to form two queues.
One line is for the men who dominated their women, and the other one for the men who were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away from here so that no man and woman can talk and I can talk to men alone."
When the women were gone, the Almighty returns and there are two lines. The line for the men who were dominated by their women is a hundred miles long, and in the line of men who dominated their women there is only one solitary man.
The God about to open his third eye of anger, thunders, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"
"Come and tell all them henpecked, my brave son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" God asked.
The nervous man replies, "I don't know sir, but my wife told me to stand here, until this is over."
http://media.thedaily.com.au/img/pho...dists_t350.jpg
"Judging by the enclosed photo, I am sure the "perverts" would only go there once".
http://www.thedaily.com.au/news/2008/sep/14/too-rude/
If you like sarcastic wit? then you cant do much better than old Knudsens blog.
I often check it out when boredom gets a hold.
http://oldbitterballs.blogspot.com/
Quote
Old Knudsen
I'm a witty ****er, a base and vile brabbler; I never know when to quit, I'm a terrier. The conscience of the people, a gob in the eye of convention. Winner of the Pepsi challenge 1984. I'm a Chestnut Tree and proud of it. Winner of the Daz Challenge 1986. I hung on a wind-rocked tree nine whole nights. A man of action is his own Sun. Correct punctuation and sentence structure is for the weak. My mother was an Ulster bare-knuckle fighter and my father a Scottish Viking. I was born in a coracle in the middle of the Irish Sea, delivered by the sea God Manannan. I am the only Timelord with his own teeth. Winner of the Darwin award 1932, runner-up 1954. President of The Lemurs Must Die League Of The British Isles. Expert Blogger, watch me Blog. I am a Hornivore and I'm full of the Horn. Time magazine Person of the Year 2006. I'm a double dipper. Call me All-father but expect no child support. I promote anti-social behaviour. A hater. A spoiler. A Blogger without a hat is to be mocked. This Blog is 100% natural. I'm the playboy of the western world. UDOJ Wall Of Honour Recipient 2007. I'm a sexual compulsive and a dangerous intellect. Banned in Halifax.
..................for those cold winter knights
Jethro's Discount
It takes all sorts..............
.
What happens to good old telepathy
.
I though this was absolutely hilarious.
LOS ANGELES - Russell Crowe has an Oscar and is co-owner of the Sydney Rabbitohs rugby league team, but maybe his next job should be US treasury secretary.
The New Zealand-born actor announced, during a US TV talkshow appearance, a mathematically-flawed plan to cure America's financial crisis.
"I have been intently watching the political process," Crowe told talkshow host Jay Leno.
Crowe believes the US government should give each American US$1 million ($1.50 million).
His reasoning is the US has a population of about 300 million, so the US$300 billion outlay is a fraction of the US$700 billion financial bailout package rejected by politicians in Washington DC yesterday.
"I was thinking," Crowe said.
"If they want to stimulate the economy and get people spending so they can look after their mortgage ... give everyone US$1 million."
His plan would actually cost $300 trillion.
Crowe is in the US to promote his new spy thriller with Leonardo DiCaprio and director Ridley Scott, Body of Lies, which opens in Australia on October 9.
................Jesus is watching
Spotted on a UK forum......
If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95.
With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50.
£1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5.
However, if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminum re-cycling plant, you would get £21.40.
So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.
Not even an Irish Blog, I hasten to add.............
.
Question: How do you tell the difference between:-
A New Zealand Police Officer , An Australian Police Officer ?and
An American Police Officer?
To obtain the answer you must pose the following question to the Officer;
'You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock ..40, and you are an expert shot. You have
mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?'
NZ POLICE OFFICER'S Answer:
' Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it, am I using it in an
OSH approved fashion?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children?
If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, Do I get blamed when he
falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
Will the NZ tax payer foot the bill for his ACC claim if I injure him?
If I shoot him, and lose the court case. Does he have the opportunity to sue
me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family
home?
Am I being culturally sensitive to the attacker if I shoot him, will I be
offending his mana if I wound or kill him?
Will I have to defend myself in court as a racist if I shoot him? '
Australian Officer's Answer:
BANG!
American Officer's Answer
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click (changing magazine) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG
Retrenched Lehman Bank employees stage a protest by blockading the entrance to the Bank's Headquarters
.................................................. ...
...........................................
Stolen from hotcopper, but it gave me a giggle so heres a repost
> CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
> > CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
> > BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor
> > to mistake himself for a financial genius.
> > BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
> > allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no
> > sex.
> > VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
> > P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their
> > pants as the market keeps crashing.
> > BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
> > STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
> > STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
> > STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your
> > assets equally between themselves.
> > FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been
> > disconnected.
> > MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
> > CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears
> > down the toilet.
> > YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker
> > for $240 per share.
> > WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker
> > who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
> > INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now
> > locked up in a nuthouse.
> > PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use
..........................................
...........................................
...............................
http://yourscene.latimes.com/PHOTOS/...os/387416E.jpg